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The Fugitive

Alright, listen up, people. Our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive's name is Dr Richard Kimble. Go get him.

In the last five days I have been asked three times if I am the 98FM Fugitive, part of a promotion by a local radio station. I'm considering asking the station for a job since everyone seems to think I'm so suited to it. On the other hand the evidence does seem to suggest that I'm a little too easy to find so maybe hiring me would be a money-loser for them.

Perhaps I could just carry around a little envelope that I could give to people to trick them into believing that they had won. Inside would be a note: "Sucker! I'm not the fugitive. lolz0rs zomg!"

Comments:
Wed, 31st May 2006 (15:14)

Stay away from surly janitors…

by Jamie O'Leary
Wed, 31st May 2006 (17:04)

Yeah, I got hit by that one 5 times in a 3 mintues time frame standing outside the library in Trinity! The demographic sample of listeners that I was accosted by does not give me hope for the "standard" of the total population of 98FM listeners! I'd stay away from that job if I was you Rory!

P.S. It's that dodgy look of yours that got you so much attention!

by Karl Melady
Wed, 31st May 2006 (20:56)

"Making sandcastles" was the clue the otehr morning. Sandyford Industrial Estate was awash with arseholes and I was starting a new job. The number of people IN THE OFFICE Who asked me was insane.

by Ronan Lowe
Wed, 31st May 2006 (21:16)

I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one on the run. I regret not having come up with a snappy response after the first time that I could use on the subsequent acosters.

by Rory

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This piece was posted on Tue, 30th May 2006 at 22:38. It is tagged with .

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