Soylent Red

The most annoying central character since Kevin McCallister actually appears to become slightly more competent after his surprisingly (and disappointingly) non-fatal lobotomy half way through this farce. The giant killer radioactive snot monster is off screen for far too long, especially since its existence is largely ignored when it's not around. There's no sense of danger. Nor is there much in the way of pace. Or anything praiseworthy, really.

It's a pity. I usually enjoy a good monster rampage movie.

• Permanent Link

I want to be a secret agent. Seven thumbs up.

• Permanent Link

I want to be a magician. Five stars.

• Permanent Link

The Last Kiss is Zach Braff's first movie since last year's Garden State. This time he neither wrote nor directed, though apparently he did select the soundtrack.

The supporting cast were great. Special shout out to—I have no shame in admitting this—the infeasibly attractive Casey Affleck; far better than his brother. Rachel Bilson is this year's Natalie Portman (though I preferred last year's).

I wasn't as interested in the main story as I was in all of the myriad side-stories. I don't think the various threads had all that much influence on each other either.

Not a bad film. It certainly has its pluses, and not just in the partial nudity department. But I'm keen to see Braff go back to writing his own material. To be fair, I think it was actually rather good but not at all like the kind of movie I should have been watching today.

• Permanent Link
• Toggle Comments [1]

They'll get their knickers in a twist over just about anything these days, won't they? It seems a bunch of Shite—excuse me, Shi'ite—Muslims in Iraq are up in arms (figuratively if not literally) about an image of Buddy Christ from Kevin Smith's Dogma. The AFP reports that the Sadr City Muslims are offended by "a picture of a grinning Jesus they mistook for a Shiite holy figure."

That picture abuses our Imam Mahdi and his holy character, and mocks our sacred figures.

Well it mocks someone's sacred figures. Is this an implicit admission that one bearded dead guy is much the same as another?

• Permanent Link
• Toggle Comments [2]

If An Inconvenient Truth can reach beyond preaching to the choir and actually affect the views of global warming deniers it may become the most important movie ever made. If An Inconvenient Truth can reach beyond preaching to the choir and actually affect the views of global warming deniers it may become the most important movie ever made. I said that twice because I want to highlight the fact that I really mean it, without hyperbole.

I went to see it not expecting to be hugely influenced. I was already aware, or so I thought, of the effects of global warming. I was already a member of what appears to be a disturbingly small minority who recognise that there is no uncertainty among scientists about whether global warming is happening or whether it is caused by human activity. It is, and it is. I went because I wanted to show my support.

But it turns out there was a hell of a lot that I didn't know. About the extent of our destruction of the world, about the importance of getting our shit in order, and most importantly about the fact that we have the means to do it.

Plus, it's funny. And it has a clip from Futurama.

• Permanent Link
• Toggle Comments [2]

I am beginning to notice a rather obvious trend here on Soylent Red towards every post being about movies. Perhaps this is what the yuppie thirty-something renovated loft-dwelling New York blogger ruling class mean when they refer to "finding a niche". Just my luck that my niche appears to be one of the most popular pastimes in the world.

Anyway, Clerks II. This is the sixth movie in a "trilogy" that I love. It is the sequel to one of my favourite comedies ever. It received an eight minute long standing ovation at the Cannes film festival. And it lived up to my expectations.

It was slow to start, which I found worrying because this was one of those films that I went to with a sense of needing it to be good. I certainly didn't want it to retroactively ruin the original like a certain pair of Matrix sequels did. Thankfully it picked up the pace soon enough. Now that I think of it, I have levelled the "slow to start" criticism a few times recently and been proved wrong. Maybe I should start to put more trust in the film makers.

This is another easy one for the "if you liked X you'll like this"-style reviewer. X is Clerks, quite simply.

• Permanent Link
• Toggle Comments [1]

This one's easy. If you like Anchorman then you'll like this. If you didn't like Anchorman then chances are I don't care for you as a person. Will Ferrell ("Cow and Chicken") is typically hit and miss but he hits a good average. Sacha Baron Cohen (The Jolly Boys' Last Stand) is capable but largely absent. The plot is standard sports movie fare.

• Permanent Link
• Toggle Comments [1]

Jagshemash. My name Rory. I make review Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. You read!

I have just returned from a special preview of the Borat movie months ahead of the full worldwide release, an event made somewhat less exclusive by the fact that it was a free promotion run by MySpace. Also by the fact that the cinema was only half full. Which obviously made my showing up two hours in advance to secure my seat a little unnecessary.

Verdict in short: it is, as any sane person would have expected, a very funny film. But I felt a little let down. Clearly Borat derives most of his humour—with the obvious exception of his Kazakhstan-based segments at the beginning and end—from the genuine reactions of perplexed Americans. These scenes are predictably hilarious.

The problem is that Borat has a plot. This is admittedly an unusual complaint to level against a film. Let me explain. A plot requires that it be driven forward. Driving a plot requires character motivation and advancement. Character motivation and advancement do not naturally derive from scenes of unrehearsed crackpot reactions to Borat's chauvinism and anti-Semitism. So by necessity there are lots of scenes that are, clearly and unashamedly, entirely scripted.

But, like watching a magician who is seen to use stooges and camera tricks on top of the expected sleight of hand and misdirection, these scripted scenes take away from the viewer's certainty in the reality of the rest of the film. It goes from, "I can't believe he reacted like that," to, "I don't believe he reacted like that."

If you can drag yourself back to believing in the authenticity of the non-character developing scenes, the ones that you expect to be of real people, then plot strikes once more. The climax of a film can not get away with following unrelated tangents. So as the film gets closer to the end the ratio of scripted to unscripted material shifts hugely to the former, leaving the most important part of the film far shorter of laughs than the rest.

All of that having been said, I don't think I went a single minute without laughing out loud. Borat is easily as funny as Sacha Baron-Cohen's other movie of this year, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (of which I owe you a review). I expect it to feature in the top five of 2006.

One final hilarity that I noticed while refusing to leave before the lights came up: there was a credit for "Mr Baron-Cohen's faeces provided by". Now there's a tantalising teaser for you for when the film is released fully in November.

• Permanent Link
• Toggle Comments [2]

Empire's news page has a poll about the best Indiana Jones movie. As you can see, they have the wrong results posted with it. Clearly, to any sensible viewer, The Last Crusade is better than the other two put together.

• Permanent Link
• Toggle Comments [8]